For an overview of this 4-part series please read the previous blog – https://myromancehub.com/what-is-really-going-on-in-our-relationships/
Part 3 – Become Aware Of Your Relationship Dance
Humans are very complex creatures and to say that men and woman are different is an understatement. When we are in a relationship, we are attempting to co-exist harmoniously and we all want to enjoy being with our partners, otherwise what is the point, right?
Understanding how relationships work is essential to working towards a happy and healthy relationship. So, the first thing to consider is that everyone in a relationship (and this doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship) is participating in a relationship dance. To work out what your relationship dance is, will help you decide if you are in a healthy relationship and if you feel you can or should stay in that relationship to be happy.
What is a relationship dance?
A “relationship dance” refers to the dynamics and patterns of interaction that occur between individuals in a relationship. It can include things like communication styles, roles and responsibilities, and emotional responses. In some cases, the “dance” may be healthy and productive, while in other cases it may be harmful or problematic.
Understanding the relationship dance can be helpful for identifying and addressing issues in a relationship.
Types Of Relationship Dynamics & Patterns Of Interaction
There are many different types of relationship dynamics and patterns of interaction that can occur between individuals. Some examples include:
- Co-dependent: characterized by an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner.
- Controlling: characterized by one person exerting power and control over the other.
- Competitive: characterized by both individuals constantly trying to one-up each other or prove themselves as superior.
- Avoidant: characterized by one or both individuals withdrawing emotionally or physically from the relationship.
- Complementary: characterized by individuals complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
- Co-creating: characterized by both individuals working together to create a shared vision and goals for the relationship.
It’s important to note that relationship dynamics can change over time, and what may be healthy at one point may become problematic later on. Understanding and being aware of the dynamics in your relationship can help you identify and address issues and communicate more effectively with your partner.
Types Of Communication Styles In Relationships
There are several different types of communication styles that can occur in a relationship, including:
- Passive: characterized by avoiding conflict or expressing one’s own needs and wants.
- Aggressive: characterized by expressing one’s own needs and wants in a way that disregards or dismisses the needs and wants of the other person.
- Passive-aggressive: characterized by expressing one’s own needs and wants indirectly or through manipulation.
- Assertive: characterized by expressing one’s own needs and wants in a direct and respectful way, while also considering the needs and wants of the other person.
Different people may have different communication styles, and these styles can also change depending on the context or situation. Being aware of your own communication style, as well as your partner’s, can help you understand how you interact and identify areas for improvement.
What Are The Roles & Responsibilities Within A Relationship?
In a relationship, there are different roles and responsibilities that individuals may take on. The specific roles and responsibilities can vary depending on the individual and the relationship, but some common examples include:
- Provider: The person who is responsible for earning the main income and financial support for the relationship.
- Caretaker: The person who is responsible for taking care of domestic duties, such as cleaning, cooking, and childcare.
- Decision maker: The person who is responsible for making important decisions for the relationship.
- Emotional support: The person who is responsible for providing emotional support and understanding to the other person.
- Planner: The person who is responsible for organizing and planning events, social gatherings, etc.
- Problem solver: The person who is responsible for finding solutions to conflicts and problems within the relationship.
These roles and responsibilities can change over time and can be shared or assumed by different people depending on the situation or context. Additionally, it’s important that both individuals in a relationship feel like their needs and wants are being met, and that the distribution of roles and responsibilities is fair and equitable.
Types Of Emotional Responses
In a relationship, emotional responses can vary depending on the individual and the situation. Some common emotional responses that can occur within a relationship include:
- Love: characterized by feelings of affection, care, and fondness towards one’s partner.
- Trust: this is identified by feeling secure and confident in the relationship.
- Jealousy: the defining element here is feelings of insecurity, envy, or resentment towards one’s partner.
- Anger: is expressed by feelings of frustration, irritation, or resentment towards one’s partner.
- Fear: characterized by feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, or insecurity about the relationship.
- Guilt: this is when one has feelings of remorse or responsibility for one’s actions in the relationship.
- Sadness: is feelings of loss or disappointment in the relationship.
- Happiness: defined by feelings of joy, contentment and satisfaction.
Emotional responses can be complex and multi-faceted and can vary depending on the situation or context. Additionally, it’s important that both individuals in a relationship feel like their emotional needs are being met, and that they are able to communicate and express their emotional responses in a healthy and constructive way.
What Creates A Positive & Healthy Relationship Dance?
A positive relationship dance is characterized by several key elements:
- Effective Communication: Both individuals in the relationship are able to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and respectful way. They are also able to listen actively and understand each other’s perspectives.
- Trust and Honesty: Both individuals trust and believe in each other and are able to be honest and transparent in the relationship.
- Emotional Support: Both individuals provide emotional support and understanding to each other and feel like their emotional needs are being met.
- Shared Goals and Vision: Both individuals have a shared vision and goals for the relationship, and work together to achieve them.
- Flexibility and Adaptability: Both individuals are able to adapt and change as needed in order to meet the changing needs of the relationship.
- Equality and Fairness: Both individuals feel that their needs and wants are being met, and that the distribution of roles and responsibilities is fair and equitable.
- Positive Emotional Responses: Both individuals experience positive emotions such as love, trust, happiness, and contentment towards each other.
It’s important to note that maintaining a positive relationship dance requires ongoing effort and commitment from both individuals. Communication, trust, and emotional support are key elements to build a positive and healthy relationship.
Sometimes life and stress get in the way, and we may slip in some of these area. That is okay! As long as your partner is supportive and you are open to listening to them, it is possible to work through your issues and come out the other side stronger and happier.
When Is A Relationship Dance Unhealthy?
A relationship dance can become unhealthy when certain dynamics or patterns of interaction occur. Some examples of unhealthy relationship dynamics include:
- Controlling behavior: One person exerts power and control over the other, making decisions for them, dictating how they should act, or monitoring their every move.
- Co-dependency: One or both individuals become excessively emotionally or psychologically dependent on each other, and unable to function independently.
- Lack of mutual respect: One or both individuals don’t treat each other with respect or disregard each other’s feelings, opinions or needs.
- Emotional or physical abuse: One person uses verbal, physical, or emotional abuse to control or manipulate the other.
- Inadequate communication: One or both individuals avoid discussing important issues or use communication that is disrespectful or hurtful.
- Inequity: One or both individuals feel that their needs and wants are not being met, and that the distribution of roles and responsibilities is unfair or unbalanced.
- Negative Emotional Responses: One or both individuals experience negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, fear, or sadness towards each other.
Sometimes a relationship dance can become unhealthy, even if it started off healthy. This can happen over time and can be caused by several factors, such as a change in circumstances or a breakdown in communication. Also, it’s important to seek help if a relationship is becoming unhealthy or abusive.
If you understand your own interactions and patterns you can begin to change what is becoming negative or unhealthy and potentially causing your partner to be unhappy or uncomfortable in the relationship. In turn if you understand your partners relationship elements you can decide if they are right for you and if they make you happy. If you are both open to discussion and addressing any issues than there is no reason things can’t become a happy dance for all involved.
Helpful Links
Here are some links that may be helpful for relationship advice:
- Relationship Advice from The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/category/relationship-advice/
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/
- The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center: https://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/
- The National Institute of Relationship Enhancement: https://www.nire.org/
- It’s important to remember that a healthy relationship takes work and commitment from both partners. These resources can provide guidance and support for building and maintaining a healthy relationship. It’s also important to remember that it’s normal for relationships to have ups and downs, and seeking professional help if you’re experiencing serious problems in your relationship is always a good idea.
It’s important to keep in mind that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. A healthy relationship takes work and commitment from both partners. These resources can provide guidance and support for building and maintaining a healthy relationship. It’s also important to remember that it’s normal for relationships to have ups and downs but please seek professional help if you’re experiencing serious problems in your relationship.
Note: The above links are only suggestions and have only been found through our research. We in no way have any affiliation with these organizations and take no responsibility for the advice given by them.